Imagine connecting deeply with a job interviewer, sharing personal stories, and feeling like you've got the role in the bag—only to be completely ignored afterward. That's the harsh truth of job hunting today, and it could shake your confidence to the core. But stick around, because we're diving into real advice on handling these frustrations, and there's a twist that might just change how you view loyalty in the workplace.
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Good Job (https://slate.com/advice/good-job) is Slate’s go-to advice column for all things work-related. Facing a big dilemma or a small snag at your job? Reach out to Laura Helmuth and Doree Shafrir anonymously via this form (https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScAyhXmriThctO-0OxkZlSWl9hQahMAAI1lVnC6e9LKIdVw/viewform?usp=sf_link). Your identity stays protected!
Dear Good Job,
I believed my interview went exceptionally well. The manager and I seemed to click instantly. She even handed over her direct line and promised an update the next week. She appeared pleased with my responses, and we found common ground discussing her mother's dementia and my grandmother's battle with Alzheimer’s. A week passed, and when I hadn't heard back, I left a voicemail. Still radio silence. I contacted HR, mentioning I'd received another offer but this position was my top pick. The HR rep vowed to expedite a response by day's end. Nothing came from them either! Over two weeks later, I've accepted the other job, but I can't shake the feeling of being ghosted. I'm striving not to take it personally, yet it strikes me as thoroughly unprofessional. What's your take?
—Ghosted
Dear Ghosted,
Navigating the job market in 2025 can feel like navigating a minefield designed by someone with a cruel sense of humor. You submit applications into an endless abyss, hoping for any sign they've been seen, and if you're fortunate enough for your resume to bypass AI filters amid a sea of competitors, you might land an interview. But even that personal touch doesn't guarantee humane treatment down the line—being ghosted has unfortunately become the norm rather than the outlier. It's reminiscent of the worst online daters who vanish after a seemingly perfect encounter.
This culture of ghosting is not just impolite; it's hurtful and confusing, particularly when the interview felt promising and you built a rapport! It can leave you second-guessing your judgment, as if you've been emotionally manipulated and can't rely on your gut anymore. Why is it so challenging to simply shoot off a quick email stating, 'Unfortunately, the position went to another candidate'? (They could certainly soften the language, but that's the essence.)
But here's where it gets controversial: Some argue that companies are overwhelmed with applicants and simply can't respond to everyone, prioritizing only top contenders. Others see it as a sign of disrespect that erodes trust in the hiring process. What do you think—is ghosting ever justifiable, or is it always a breach of basic courtesy? Share your views in the comments; I'd love to hear if you've experienced this and how it impacted your job search.
All in all, I stand with you: their behavior was undeniably unprofessional, and you're justified in feeling slighted. Now, shift your focus forward. Be thankful for the backup offer that came through and channel your energy into your new gig. Congratulations, by the way! And who knows, perhaps you avoided a problematic workplace. They certainly don't deserve someone as thoughtful as you!
Please ensure submissions are concise (under 150 words), avoid duplicating questions across columns, and note that once published, we can't edit or remove them. Pseudonyms help keep things anonymous, and your query might appear in other Slate advice features with possible edits.
Dear Good Job,
My closest friend and I are planning a relocation to another state in about 18 months due to worsening political conditions there, though our current setup feels secure enough to finish our lease. How should I approach this from a career standpoint? Clearly, 16 months' notice to my employer is excessive, but two weeks feels insensitive given my advance knowledge. When should I begin scouting jobs in the new state? Starting immediately sounds logical, but realistically, no employer will hire someone unavailable for a year, correct?
—Interstate Indecision
Dear Interstate Indecision,
Your forward-thinking approach is truly commendable! Yet, it's far too premature to begin hunting for positions in your prospective state. Relocating and securing employment often involves a tricky catch-22: many firms overlook out-of-state candidates, but relocating without a job lined up can be incredibly stressful, complicating things like apartment hunting or settling in. My suggestion? Kick off your search two months prior to your move, perhaps by listing a contact's address in the new state on your resume or explicitly stating your relocation plans. Alternatively, keep an eye out for remote opportunities that could eliminate the need for a new job altogether—fingers crossed for that ideal setup!
And this is the part most people miss—when it comes to informing your current employer, 16 months is indeed too lengthy. Circumstances can evolve dramatically in that timeframe; your plans might alter, and you wouldn't want to resign so early that you're left jobless if something unforeseen arises. Plus, it's worth considering that layoffs could happen in the interim. I'd recommend no more than a month's notice, and only if you genuinely feel compelled. I sense from your message a desire not to disappoint your boss, which is honorable, but remember, companies seldom reciprocate that level of dedication to individual employees.
Best of luck with your exciting transition—may your job hunt be seamless and rewarding!
—Doree
More Work Advice From Slate
I've just embarked on a fresh role and am eager to shine, but my new supervisor's announcement gave me pause. The aspect I disliked most from my previous job was mandatory evening team gatherings. They occurred sporadically—say, twice annually—but I dreaded them. Sometimes they offered perks like complimentary meals, while others involved expenses such as potlucks. Regardless, I had zero interest. Now, this position promises even more frequent after-hours events! (https://slate.com/advice/2025/07/work-advice-after-hours-team-events-avoid.html)
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What are your thoughts on workplace loyalty? Do you believe employers owe candidates basic communication, or is the job market too competitive to expect it? And when planning a big move, how do you weigh personal safety against career risks? Drop your opinions below—let's spark a debate!
